"Sex Without Intimacy" Article

I recently read an interesting article on NPR's website entitled "Sex without Intimacy: No Dating, No Relationships" by Brenda Wilson and it really related to a lot of what was going on in the lives of many of my 20-something friends. Here is the link to the article:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=105008712

The article describes the "hook-up", which can mean anything from sex, to heavy petting to simply making out. For most 20-somethings, the hook-up has replaced dating, and replaced courtship. I remember thinking during college that no one really asked anyone on a date anymore, and that most relationships I knew of revolved around some sort of inebriated rendez-vous, without first really getting to know the person. Contrary to the dating habits of the past, young adults are now focusing more on their careers and place less emphasis on finding a marriage partner until after they have pursued their other goals. As a woman, I am grateful that my worth as a young female is not based on whether or not I have "landed" a man anymore, and that I can pursue academic and career dreams without very much societal hindrance. As a theologian, however, I see the trend in physical union without intimacy as very disturbing and detrimental to the spirit.

I long to find the time to read John Paul II's Theology of the Body, but from what I have researched about sexual morality, I know that the central message of sexuality for Christians is that you cannot separate your body from your soul (Gnosticism believes that you can). What you do with your body affects you, and if you give of yourself to someone physically, although society can lead you to believe that is just fun and casual, sex can never be casual. For most of my female friends who are sexually active, whether they believe in God or not, they can agree that when you are involved with someone physically, emotional attachment inevitably follows. This is natural, and what is so unnatural to me is the ever-prevalent message that it's really no big deal, that you can indeed have sex without intimacy. Seems so much like an oxy-moron.

The paragraph of the article that stood out to me reads, "Today, Wilkerson says people hook up via the Internet and text messaging. 'What that means is that you have contact with many, many more people, but each of those relationships takes up a little bit less of your life. That fragmentation of the social world creates a lot of loneliness.'"

Writing love letters to someone, or even going to pick them up from their house and taking them on a date takes time. If meeting the opposite sex consists of having a lot of different text relationships or even dating online with many different potentials, are we really getting to know anyone in the process, or just fragmenting our lives so that we have a lot of options, but very little depth? I wonder sometimes if all of the different forms of communication have stunted our relationship capabilities.

Saint Reflection from a Marianist :-)

Recently, a miracle occurred in St. Louis that was announced to perhaps be the final miracle needed for Blessed William Joseph Chaminade to become a canonized saint within the Catholic Church. For those of you who do not know, Fr. Chaminade is one of the founders of the Marianist order, the order that founded UD, where I now work and study. One of my Marianist friends Andy expressed some concern as to why a person needs to pray to a saint for a medical/physical miracle. "Why shouldn't we just pray to God?", he pondered. Prayer to saints is probably one of the most misunderstood and controversial topic within the Catholic faith, and I am still not sure if I fully understand it, but I seek to try. Here is a very well-written response to Andy's concern by Brother Tom Peiper, a Marianist brother here at UD:

Andy, thanks for sharing the information on Rachel's miracle and her life story. I certainly had heard of her, the cancer and her praying to Chaminade. People have been praying for miracles for centuries. As you said Andy, in your email, that God can do what God wants and therefore God can work miracles. God does not need any saints to do miracles; but God created all of us and calls all of us to love and share the gifts we have with one another. I believe in the communion of saints both in heaven and on earth and that we pray, talk to those who have died and gone to heaven. I pray and talk everyday to both of my parents who have died. I sense their spirit with me at times. Because of God's love for us all, both in heaven and on earth, God invites saints in heave, and all of us on earth to continue to love each other and help each other. God works through saints in heave and through us on earth to make miracles happen in each others' lives. God has used you Andy, and God has used me a number of times to bring about new life to others! And others have helped me find new life too. Sometimes these intercessions like with Rachel and Chaminade, bring about a killing of cancer and new life for a person, in this case Rachel.

I do have a dislike, for how the Church states that for a person to be called a "real Saint" he or she must have three miracles from people who prayed to that person before that person can be called a Saint, like Chaminade and other more famous saints. If a person trieds to lead a good life on earth and prays, loves and really shows their love of God here on earth, then when that person dies they should be called a saint without having to have any miracles.

And last, I believe their are thousands of miracles that happen every day, most of us are just too "blind" "too busy" to see any of them. Blessings and Love, BT

Something to ponder!!