My Reality

Although, I originally intended this blog to help me with ideas for my thesis, I think that a theology-based blog also should include some real-life experiences because what is faith or theology if not practical at it's core?

Sister Nicole, a Marianist sister that I know through my internship at the Marianist Family Retreat Center in New Jersey and through the Marianist world in general, posted a prayer on her blog post the other day that was really poignant for me at this time in my life. It's called the "Prayer for Openness" by Joyce Carol Rupp, and it speaks to the ebbs and flows of life and how when one season closes, another opens.

This is really relatable to me because for the past year or so, I have been in an international long-distance relationship. What this means is that my "reality" is that I am able to see my love for a few weeks (sometimes even over a month, like this past summer) and then have to say good-bye for a few months before I see him again. For me, everso good at change (sarcasm), it is really difficult for me to transition from being with him to being apart, though I have definitely gotten better with practice.

What I have learned from this experience is that there really is no "normal" when it comes to what being in a relationship is like. Sure, I wish that I could see him on weekends or call him in the same time zone, but my reality right now is that I have to count 6 hours ahead before I pick up the phone, and that the times that I do see him are precious because it takes time and money to reach each other. No matter what the circumstance, God has given me the strength to adapt to my new reality, and I thank him every day for that gift.

Prayer for Openness
Spirit of freedom,
open my mind and my heart.
Lift the barriers,
unbind the strong grasp of my demands
when I want everything to go my way.

God of spaciousness,
reach into my inner space,
sweep out all the old clutter,
enlarge my capacity to receive.

Bringer of truth,
empty me of whatever impedes
the growth of our relationship.
Help me recognize and accept
your sources for my growth.

Creator of the seasons of life,
soften my resistance to emptying.
May I welcome each inner season
as a catalyst for my transformation.

Faithful Friend,
deepen my trust in you.
Ease my doubts, fears, and discouragements.
When I am feeling vulnerable,
remind me that you are my safe haven.

Divine Mystery,
may I be ever more rooted in you.
Draw me into solitude.
Entice me into endless encounters
where I experience oneness with you.

Holy Whisper,
open the ears of my heart.
May I hear your voice within the silence
as well as within the noise of my life.
Re-awaken me
so that I can listen to you wholeheartedly.

Bringer of Good and Giver of Growth,
we yearn to be open and receptive
to your generosity.
May we trust your presence amidst the cycle
of emptying and filling.