God Will Take Care?

For me, all it takes is one good professor. I am the type of person who just "knows" when there is something that I want or like- I am proud of my keen sense of intuition and it has served me well throughout the years. I knew that I wanted to go to UD the minute I set foot on campus, and had the best four years of my life, no hesitations, no "pros and cons" list. I am like that with a lot of things, including the major that I chose. Ever since I was in 7th grade I knew that I wanted to be a youth minister and major in Theology. 12 years has past since I first felt that vocational call, and very rarely have I wavered from that knowledge that that is what I am meant to study, that is what I am meant to do- be a theologian. However, ever since I settled in to the "real world" with a "big person" job, I seem to be getting even more fearful about this chosen career path with each passing day.

I like to get paid a salary, and know that I can be financially independent from my parents (well, besides the cell phone bill but who's counting). I live alone, have my own car and have the benefit of treating myself to sushi and buying new outfits pretty much whenever I please. My other religious studies/theoligical studies counterparts are working in ministry fields or trying to find a job in academia, with little to no money to their name. As I see my fellow theologians struggle in this economy, in this job market, it makes me less and less willing to give up everything and keep pursuing theology...because with it comes inevitable money troubles. But if you do what you love and follow what you think to be your true vocation, God will take care...right??

Yesterday I started a new class called Ecclesiology (the study of the Church) with a world reknowned professor. Immediately, I felt the sense of peace in knowing that this is what I am meant to do, and that after all of these years I still LOVE it. That's all that it took for me- one great professor to remind me that financial security is nothing compared to doing what you love, especially when you are young and don't have to take care of a family. I can't let my fear of living in a box or being jobless for a while deter me from something that brings a spring to my step and gives me a purpose in life. Getting paid is nice, but I have to believe that God will help me if I try to do his will.

I don't know if I will ever get a job teaching Theology. Sometimes I wonder if I should have just done something practical like study business or engineering. But I can't live my life in fear, giving in to the secular view that there are only certain disciplines, certain careers that are "valuable". Security is merely an illusion, as Helen Keller sagely noted. I may be poor, but at least I will be happy and know that I took the risk of pursuing my dreams. Oh money.......