Although, I originally intended this blog to help me with ideas for my thesis, I think that a theology-based blog also should include some real-life experiences because what is faith or theology if not practical at it's core?
Sister Nicole, a Marianist sister that I know through my internship at the Marianist Family Retreat Center in New Jersey and through the Marianist world in general, posted a prayer on her blog post the other day that was really poignant for me at this time in my life. It's called the "Prayer for Openness" by Joyce Carol Rupp, and it speaks to the ebbs and flows of life and how when one season closes, another opens.
This is really relatable to me because for the past year or so, I have been in an international long-distance relationship. What this means is that my "reality" is that I am able to see my love for a few weeks (sometimes even over a month, like this past summer) and then have to say good-bye for a few months before I see him again. For me, everso good at change (sarcasm), it is really difficult for me to transition from being with him to being apart, though I have definitely gotten better with practice.
What I have learned from this experience is that there really is no "normal" when it comes to what being in a relationship is like. Sure, I wish that I could see him on weekends or call him in the same time zone, but my reality right now is that I have to count 6 hours ahead before I pick up the phone, and that the times that I do see him are precious because it takes time and money to reach each other. No matter what the circumstance, God has given me the strength to adapt to my new reality, and I thank him every day for that gift.
Prayer for Openness
Spirit of freedom,
open my mind and my heart.
Lift the barriers,
unbind the strong grasp of my demands
when I want everything to go my way.
God of spaciousness,
reach into my inner space,
sweep out all the old clutter,
enlarge my capacity to receive.
Bringer of truth,
empty me of whatever impedes
the growth of our relationship.
Help me recognize and accept
your sources for my growth.
Creator of the seasons of life,
soften my resistance to emptying.
May I welcome each inner season
as a catalyst for my transformation.
Faithful Friend,
deepen my trust in you.
Ease my doubts, fears, and discouragements.
When I am feeling vulnerable,
remind me that you are my safe haven.
Divine Mystery,
may I be ever more rooted in you.
Draw me into solitude.
Entice me into endless encounters
where I experience oneness with you.
Holy Whisper,
open the ears of my heart.
May I hear your voice within the silence
as well as within the noise of my life.
Re-awaken me
so that I can listen to you wholeheartedly.
Bringer of Good and Giver of Growth,
we yearn to be open and receptive
to your generosity.
May we trust your presence amidst the cycle
of emptying and filling.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
God Will Take Care?
For me, all it takes is one good professor. I am the type of person who just "knows" when there is something that I want or like- I am proud of my keen sense of intuition and it has served me well throughout the years. I knew that I wanted to go to UD the minute I set foot on campus, and had the best four years of my life, no hesitations, no "pros and cons" list. I am like that with a lot of things, including the major that I chose. Ever since I was in 7th grade I knew that I wanted to be a youth minister and major in Theology. 12 years has past since I first felt that vocational call, and very rarely have I wavered from that knowledge that that is what I am meant to study, that is what I am meant to do- be a theologian. However, ever since I settled in to the "real world" with a "big person" job, I seem to be getting even more fearful about this chosen career path with each passing day.
I like to get paid a salary, and know that I can be financially independent from my parents (well, besides the cell phone bill but who's counting). I live alone, have my own car and have the benefit of treating myself to sushi and buying new outfits pretty much whenever I please. My other religious studies/theoligical studies counterparts are working in ministry fields or trying to find a job in academia, with little to no money to their name. As I see my fellow theologians struggle in this economy, in this job market, it makes me less and less willing to give up everything and keep pursuing theology...because with it comes inevitable money troubles. But if you do what you love and follow what you think to be your true vocation, God will take care...right??
Yesterday I started a new class called Ecclesiology (the study of the Church) with a world reknowned professor. Immediately, I felt the sense of peace in knowing that this is what I am meant to do, and that after all of these years I still LOVE it. That's all that it took for me- one great professor to remind me that financial security is nothing compared to doing what you love, especially when you are young and don't have to take care of a family. I can't let my fear of living in a box or being jobless for a while deter me from something that brings a spring to my step and gives me a purpose in life. Getting paid is nice, but I have to believe that God will help me if I try to do his will.
I don't know if I will ever get a job teaching Theology. Sometimes I wonder if I should have just done something practical like study business or engineering. But I can't live my life in fear, giving in to the secular view that there are only certain disciplines, certain careers that are "valuable". Security is merely an illusion, as Helen Keller sagely noted. I may be poor, but at least I will be happy and know that I took the risk of pursuing my dreams. Oh money.......
I like to get paid a salary, and know that I can be financially independent from my parents (well, besides the cell phone bill but who's counting). I live alone, have my own car and have the benefit of treating myself to sushi and buying new outfits pretty much whenever I please. My other religious studies/theoligical studies counterparts are working in ministry fields or trying to find a job in academia, with little to no money to their name. As I see my fellow theologians struggle in this economy, in this job market, it makes me less and less willing to give up everything and keep pursuing theology...because with it comes inevitable money troubles. But if you do what you love and follow what you think to be your true vocation, God will take care...right??
Yesterday I started a new class called Ecclesiology (the study of the Church) with a world reknowned professor. Immediately, I felt the sense of peace in knowing that this is what I am meant to do, and that after all of these years I still LOVE it. That's all that it took for me- one great professor to remind me that financial security is nothing compared to doing what you love, especially when you are young and don't have to take care of a family. I can't let my fear of living in a box or being jobless for a while deter me from something that brings a spring to my step and gives me a purpose in life. Getting paid is nice, but I have to believe that God will help me if I try to do his will.
I don't know if I will ever get a job teaching Theology. Sometimes I wonder if I should have just done something practical like study business or engineering. But I can't live my life in fear, giving in to the secular view that there are only certain disciplines, certain careers that are "valuable". Security is merely an illusion, as Helen Keller sagely noted. I may be poor, but at least I will be happy and know that I took the risk of pursuing my dreams. Oh money.......
Monday, May 17, 2010
"That Time"
I’ll admit it. At the drop of a hat, I could be batting for the other team. However, at this point in my life, as a young 20-something, I want to make sure that I write down this insight, however naïve or short-sighted it may be. Only two short years ago, my fellow classmates and I were contemplating if we should go out and party or stay in to study, whether we should hook up with said “fling” or not, or whether beer before liquor truly does make you sicker. Granted, we still had our share of serious problems as well- should we try to follow our significant other after graduation, should we go to grad school, take the career route or do a year of service. After graduation, we had to learn how to find an apartment on our own, how to pay for utilities, what “professionalism” truly means, and how to find a suit that fits. Amidst these growing pains came new expectations that seemed to pop out of nowhere- because with new steps in life come new societal pressures. In relationships, this means realizing that a college boyfriend either becomes just a young love or a potential husband, and that we are no longer playing “college” anymore, but real life. As soon as I graduated from my fun and careless life at college, wedding invitations and talk of embossed napkins and initialed towels came bombarding into my life. Which led me to wonder- is this “that time”, and if so, why did it seem to come out of nowhere?
With all of the talk about white weddings and engagement photos, it makes a non-married girl wonder what changed all of a sudden and if this path of college, marriage and kids should be a sign of success for females in a society supposedly trying to liberate itself from patriarchal norms. Most of all, it concerns me that females at certain older ages feel as if they have done something wrong or that their lives are not as valuable because they haven’t reached these relational milestones. Sure, I have always wanted to get married, and when I have attended the weddings of truly holy and committed friends I am a blubbering baby filled with joy for the happy couple. But I sometimes worry that in a country where about 50% of marriages end in divorce (caveat: this statistic takes into account people who have been divorced 3, 4, 5 or more times and counts them all as individual divorces) why there is still a palpable pressure for young women of a certain age to “settle-down” and all of a sudden stop thinking of frat parties and honors theses and start thinking of caterers and baby bassinets.
Among my fellow 20-somethings, I have heard stories of people feeling that pressure to get married and so give their significant other an ultimatum. Most of the time, this involves a girl pressuring her boyfriend to propose or else break up with her. What is so problematic about this type of pressure between couples themselves is that if someone does “give in”, they are doing so for the wrong reasons, abandoning their own desire to have more time and to make sure that they are really ready. When both partners are not fully committed to getting married, there almost always is one person who has betrayed themselves by brushing aside their own need to discern such an important life vocation. Although I have found myself having thoughts of what my future holds as I am “advancing” in age (something you might laugh at when you realize I’m only 24), I have realized that if two people are going to make the commitment to spend the rest of their lives together, then there is no rush and should be no rush in this very important process of discernment. And that is what it is—a discernment. I would expect no less of someone discerning to be a priest, or someone discerning whether or not they want to join a volunteer corps or a certain profession. These things take time, and there is no “right time” that they should happen….it’s just organic. Marriage is a vocation, one that should be given time and that should be chosen by both partners whole-heartedly at their own pace. This does not always mean that there is a certain age or time of life for marriage, but rather a certain state of mind and spirit. Societal pressure must not get the best of couples who want to take the sacrament of marriage seriously- after all, it’s not about the wedding, it’s about what comes after that. Maybe that is what they mean by surrendering to Kairos (God’s time) instead of Chronos (the world’s time).
With all of the talk about white weddings and engagement photos, it makes a non-married girl wonder what changed all of a sudden and if this path of college, marriage and kids should be a sign of success for females in a society supposedly trying to liberate itself from patriarchal norms. Most of all, it concerns me that females at certain older ages feel as if they have done something wrong or that their lives are not as valuable because they haven’t reached these relational milestones. Sure, I have always wanted to get married, and when I have attended the weddings of truly holy and committed friends I am a blubbering baby filled with joy for the happy couple. But I sometimes worry that in a country where about 50% of marriages end in divorce (caveat: this statistic takes into account people who have been divorced 3, 4, 5 or more times and counts them all as individual divorces) why there is still a palpable pressure for young women of a certain age to “settle-down” and all of a sudden stop thinking of frat parties and honors theses and start thinking of caterers and baby bassinets.
Among my fellow 20-somethings, I have heard stories of people feeling that pressure to get married and so give their significant other an ultimatum. Most of the time, this involves a girl pressuring her boyfriend to propose or else break up with her. What is so problematic about this type of pressure between couples themselves is that if someone does “give in”, they are doing so for the wrong reasons, abandoning their own desire to have more time and to make sure that they are really ready. When both partners are not fully committed to getting married, there almost always is one person who has betrayed themselves by brushing aside their own need to discern such an important life vocation. Although I have found myself having thoughts of what my future holds as I am “advancing” in age (something you might laugh at when you realize I’m only 24), I have realized that if two people are going to make the commitment to spend the rest of their lives together, then there is no rush and should be no rush in this very important process of discernment. And that is what it is—a discernment. I would expect no less of someone discerning to be a priest, or someone discerning whether or not they want to join a volunteer corps or a certain profession. These things take time, and there is no “right time” that they should happen….it’s just organic. Marriage is a vocation, one that should be given time and that should be chosen by both partners whole-heartedly at their own pace. This does not always mean that there is a certain age or time of life for marriage, but rather a certain state of mind and spirit. Societal pressure must not get the best of couples who want to take the sacrament of marriage seriously- after all, it’s not about the wedding, it’s about what comes after that. Maybe that is what they mean by surrendering to Kairos (God’s time) instead of Chronos (the world’s time).
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Thesising Day and Night....
Can I just say that I am obsessed with my developing thesis topic and all of the researching that goes along with it? Hi, my name is Karen and I have an addiction to academia. I hate to admit this to the world, but sometimes I get excited about Friday nights because I can read for my thesis and not have to worry about work the next day....wow, I can't believe I just said that out loud. Thank you in advance for being my friend.
Anywhos, I have been developing my thesis topic, which in case people were waiting with breath that is bated since my last post, is about Redefining Female Sexuality in a Post-Vatican II Church (That is part of my title, in fact). I have been reading a book for my independent study class called "Freeing Theology" and it is a compilation of different articles on different subjects in the feminist theology realm. I have been honing in on topics that relate to female sexuality and how the Church has defined and then redefined it over the decades, and came across a section in an article by Lisa Sowle Cahill (my new theologian crush) that really caught my attention.
Though not related specifically to my thesis, I thought that this was interesting to post. It relates to homosexual Catholics and their sexuality. After Vatican II, there was a shift from viewing sex not just as a physical act aimed at procreation, but as an act of intimacy that is relational and highly spiritual- that brings two people together in an act of mutual love. In Cahill's article, entitled "Feminism and Christian Ethics- Moral Theology", she brings up the controversial topic of homosexual intimacy, and I thought that this paragraph was brilliant and definitely insightful:
" The displacement of the procreative purpose of sex by its affective and communicative ones also has signaled increased openness toward lesbian and gay relationships, although moralists vary in the interpretation given to them. However, even ethicists who regard the significance of shared parenthood to be a cross-cultural human meaning of sex, entailing a privileged status for heterosexual marriage, may regard the committed sexual relationships of homosexual couples as morally acceptable. Neither condemnation of gay persons nor the demand that they remain celibate is easy to reconcile with the fact that sexual orientation is a deep component of personal identity and the realization that gay persons are as capable as heterosexual ones of manifesting a range of human and Christian virtues in their lives."
To that I say...Amen sistah! Mother Church turns her wheels very slowly, but there are movements at the grass roots that are calling for another "aggiornamento".
Alright, I'm gonna go and try to save my nerdy reputation by buying cute outfits and going out drinking with girlfriends....
Anywhos, I have been developing my thesis topic, which in case people were waiting with breath that is bated since my last post, is about Redefining Female Sexuality in a Post-Vatican II Church (That is part of my title, in fact). I have been reading a book for my independent study class called "Freeing Theology" and it is a compilation of different articles on different subjects in the feminist theology realm. I have been honing in on topics that relate to female sexuality and how the Church has defined and then redefined it over the decades, and came across a section in an article by Lisa Sowle Cahill (my new theologian crush) that really caught my attention.
Though not related specifically to my thesis, I thought that this was interesting to post. It relates to homosexual Catholics and their sexuality. After Vatican II, there was a shift from viewing sex not just as a physical act aimed at procreation, but as an act of intimacy that is relational and highly spiritual- that brings two people together in an act of mutual love. In Cahill's article, entitled "Feminism and Christian Ethics- Moral Theology", she brings up the controversial topic of homosexual intimacy, and I thought that this paragraph was brilliant and definitely insightful:
" The displacement of the procreative purpose of sex by its affective and communicative ones also has signaled increased openness toward lesbian and gay relationships, although moralists vary in the interpretation given to them. However, even ethicists who regard the significance of shared parenthood to be a cross-cultural human meaning of sex, entailing a privileged status for heterosexual marriage, may regard the committed sexual relationships of homosexual couples as morally acceptable. Neither condemnation of gay persons nor the demand that they remain celibate is easy to reconcile with the fact that sexual orientation is a deep component of personal identity and the realization that gay persons are as capable as heterosexual ones of manifesting a range of human and Christian virtues in their lives."
To that I say...Amen sistah! Mother Church turns her wheels very slowly, but there are movements at the grass roots that are calling for another "aggiornamento".
Alright, I'm gonna go and try to save my nerdy reputation by buying cute outfits and going out drinking with girlfriends....
Friday, November 6, 2009
Possible Thesis Topic?!
I quickly wanted to jot down a thesis topic that I thought of in no other than...the shower. Let's face it, that is where most of the thinking happens for young professionals/part-time students like myself. Here it is:
"The Vagina Dialogues: the Evolution of a New Sexual Ethic for Catholic Females in the 20th Century"
This is a very rough-draft thought, but I thought that it was narrow enough for me to hone in on major theologians and encyclicals put out in the 20th century, but broad enough for me to right (eek!) 80-120 pages on without repeating myself.
Thoughts? :-)
"The Vagina Dialogues: the Evolution of a New Sexual Ethic for Catholic Females in the 20th Century"
This is a very rough-draft thought, but I thought that it was narrow enough for me to hone in on major theologians and encyclicals put out in the 20th century, but broad enough for me to right (eek!) 80-120 pages on without repeating myself.
Thoughts? :-)
Friday, September 4, 2009
Trinitarian Theology- In Practical Terms
Sorry for the large hiatus in my academic blogging, I have actually spent the last few weeks in Italy with my wonderful boyfriend seeing a lot of what I've studied in my classes up close and personal! I got back to the states this past Sunday, only to dive head first into classes again. This semester I am taking Ecclesiastical Latin II (independent study) and a class called God and the Human Experience, which I want to write a little about right now.
I wasn't quite sure what to expect of the class- I had heard that it was kind of like Christology (the study of Christ, his nature, etc.) but about God. "Isn't that what theology means though, the 'study of God'?" you might ask yourself. I thought this as well, but realized with my first class yesterday that is more about the study of God as he presents himself in the Trinity. To me, the trinity has always been a huge mystery (which of course it is), but so illusive that I never even wanted to try to explain it or delve into it. The way the professor started talking about it last night, though, really enlightened me and left me pondering. Here are a few morsels of wisdom I gleaned from the discussion....
Humans started off having a harmony with God, nature, each other and themselves (their inner beings) in the Garden of Eden. It wasn't until the fall that this harmony was severely disrupted. The professor talked about how in human relationships, when we fall out of harmony with each other (through a fight or a break-up), we need to go back to the table, dig into the wound, and inflict a little bit of suffering for the healing process to begin. This is all done out of love, and in efforts to restore the harmony. Since Adam and Eve hid, they were ignoring the wound that was caused by their "fight" with God-- how often do we, when we get in fights with loved ones, co-workers, friends, etc. go off into hiding, even making attempts at avoiding the person that we just fought with because it is "awkward" or "uncomfortable"? I know that I do that all of the time. But it is easier to go into hiding than acknowledge that healing takes some pain, and that denial isn't often the best remedy for wounded relationships.
Another thing that I learned about the trinity is that this communion of love between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit is a model for how our communions are as humans- our interactions should be constant expressions of love that refuel and energize us with the different unique qualities that the other has to offer. The trinity model presents a rhythm of 3 distinct entities, yet they are one- as Christians, our lives should follow this rhythm and become a part of the rhythm. It reminds me of a kind of dance :-). It is also interesting to note that the three "persons" of the trinity have unique gifts, which is a blessing for us because each of us has different gifts, and if we are told to be like God then at least we are not sacrificing our uniqueness to model him- since he has different types of gifts in the three-part Trinity! Sorry if I'm not explaining this very clearly, I was scribbling furiously as my prof was explaining these concepts yesterday.
A final thought- I believe that faith should be paired with reason when it comes to studying, and thinking in general. My prof said something pretty profound about theologians: we study God because we love him and want to know more about him. Pretty basic, but it was nice to be reminded of my basic purpose as a theologian 0:-)
I wasn't quite sure what to expect of the class- I had heard that it was kind of like Christology (the study of Christ, his nature, etc.) but about God. "Isn't that what theology means though, the 'study of God'?" you might ask yourself. I thought this as well, but realized with my first class yesterday that is more about the study of God as he presents himself in the Trinity. To me, the trinity has always been a huge mystery (which of course it is), but so illusive that I never even wanted to try to explain it or delve into it. The way the professor started talking about it last night, though, really enlightened me and left me pondering. Here are a few morsels of wisdom I gleaned from the discussion....
Humans started off having a harmony with God, nature, each other and themselves (their inner beings) in the Garden of Eden. It wasn't until the fall that this harmony was severely disrupted. The professor talked about how in human relationships, when we fall out of harmony with each other (through a fight or a break-up), we need to go back to the table, dig into the wound, and inflict a little bit of suffering for the healing process to begin. This is all done out of love, and in efforts to restore the harmony. Since Adam and Eve hid, they were ignoring the wound that was caused by their "fight" with God-- how often do we, when we get in fights with loved ones, co-workers, friends, etc. go off into hiding, even making attempts at avoiding the person that we just fought with because it is "awkward" or "uncomfortable"? I know that I do that all of the time. But it is easier to go into hiding than acknowledge that healing takes some pain, and that denial isn't often the best remedy for wounded relationships.
Another thing that I learned about the trinity is that this communion of love between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit is a model for how our communions are as humans- our interactions should be constant expressions of love that refuel and energize us with the different unique qualities that the other has to offer. The trinity model presents a rhythm of 3 distinct entities, yet they are one- as Christians, our lives should follow this rhythm and become a part of the rhythm. It reminds me of a kind of dance :-). It is also interesting to note that the three "persons" of the trinity have unique gifts, which is a blessing for us because each of us has different gifts, and if we are told to be like God then at least we are not sacrificing our uniqueness to model him- since he has different types of gifts in the three-part Trinity! Sorry if I'm not explaining this very clearly, I was scribbling furiously as my prof was explaining these concepts yesterday.
A final thought- I believe that faith should be paired with reason when it comes to studying, and thinking in general. My prof said something pretty profound about theologians: we study God because we love him and want to know more about him. Pretty basic, but it was nice to be reminded of my basic purpose as a theologian 0:-)
Monday, June 8, 2009
"Sex Without Intimacy" Article
I recently read an interesting article on NPR's website entitled "Sex without Intimacy: No Dating, No Relationships" by Brenda Wilson and it really related to a lot of what was going on in the lives of many of my 20-something friends. Here is the link to the article:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=105008712
The article describes the "hook-up", which can mean anything from sex, to heavy petting to simply making out. For most 20-somethings, the hook-up has replaced dating, and replaced courtship. I remember thinking during college that no one really asked anyone on a date anymore, and that most relationships I knew of revolved around some sort of inebriated rendez-vous, without first really getting to know the person. Contrary to the dating habits of the past, young adults are now focusing more on their careers and place less emphasis on finding a marriage partner until after they have pursued their other goals. As a woman, I am grateful that my worth as a young female is not based on whether or not I have "landed" a man anymore, and that I can pursue academic and career dreams without very much societal hindrance. As a theologian, however, I see the trend in physical union without intimacy as very disturbing and detrimental to the spirit.
I long to find the time to read John Paul II's Theology of the Body, but from what I have researched about sexual morality, I know that the central message of sexuality for Christians is that you cannot separate your body from your soul (Gnosticism believes that you can). What you do with your body affects you, and if you give of yourself to someone physically, although society can lead you to believe that is just fun and casual, sex can never be casual. For most of my female friends who are sexually active, whether they believe in God or not, they can agree that when you are involved with someone physically, emotional attachment inevitably follows. This is natural, and what is so unnatural to me is the ever-prevalent message that it's really no big deal, that you can indeed have sex without intimacy. Seems so much like an oxy-moron.
The paragraph of the article that stood out to me reads, "Today, Wilkerson says people hook up via the Internet and text messaging. 'What that means is that you have contact with many, many more people, but each of those relationships takes up a little bit less of your life. That fragmentation of the social world creates a lot of loneliness.'"
Writing love letters to someone, or even going to pick them up from their house and taking them on a date takes time. If meeting the opposite sex consists of having a lot of different text relationships or even dating online with many different potentials, are we really getting to know anyone in the process, or just fragmenting our lives so that we have a lot of options, but very little depth? I wonder sometimes if all of the different forms of communication have stunted our relationship capabilities.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=105008712
The article describes the "hook-up", which can mean anything from sex, to heavy petting to simply making out. For most 20-somethings, the hook-up has replaced dating, and replaced courtship. I remember thinking during college that no one really asked anyone on a date anymore, and that most relationships I knew of revolved around some sort of inebriated rendez-vous, without first really getting to know the person. Contrary to the dating habits of the past, young adults are now focusing more on their careers and place less emphasis on finding a marriage partner until after they have pursued their other goals. As a woman, I am grateful that my worth as a young female is not based on whether or not I have "landed" a man anymore, and that I can pursue academic and career dreams without very much societal hindrance. As a theologian, however, I see the trend in physical union without intimacy as very disturbing and detrimental to the spirit.
I long to find the time to read John Paul II's Theology of the Body, but from what I have researched about sexual morality, I know that the central message of sexuality for Christians is that you cannot separate your body from your soul (Gnosticism believes that you can). What you do with your body affects you, and if you give of yourself to someone physically, although society can lead you to believe that is just fun and casual, sex can never be casual. For most of my female friends who are sexually active, whether they believe in God or not, they can agree that when you are involved with someone physically, emotional attachment inevitably follows. This is natural, and what is so unnatural to me is the ever-prevalent message that it's really no big deal, that you can indeed have sex without intimacy. Seems so much like an oxy-moron.
The paragraph of the article that stood out to me reads, "Today, Wilkerson says people hook up via the Internet and text messaging. 'What that means is that you have contact with many, many more people, but each of those relationships takes up a little bit less of your life. That fragmentation of the social world creates a lot of loneliness.'"
Writing love letters to someone, or even going to pick them up from their house and taking them on a date takes time. If meeting the opposite sex consists of having a lot of different text relationships or even dating online with many different potentials, are we really getting to know anyone in the process, or just fragmenting our lives so that we have a lot of options, but very little depth? I wonder sometimes if all of the different forms of communication have stunted our relationship capabilities.
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